Did You Know? LALALALALA
by Grey Mustang
Summary: There are a few things Lily does NOT want to hear from the Marauders. Oneshot Rated T Just in case because of conversation topics.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, magic or wizarding schools of the like. But I DO own the lines and a purple panda :D**

James walked in to the Great hall beaming like the git he was. Why? Because he had Lily Evans attached to his left arm and she was not letting go anytime soon. And what made it better was that she was choosing to do this out of freewill.

For the past two weeks it had been like this. Anywhere James went Lily wen too, anywhere Lily went James followed.

Why was this? Maybe it had something to do with Lily finally accepting the invitation onto James' list that had been reserved for her for the last six years. Oh, and also saying she would go out with him too.

"Good morning to you fellas, and could the day get any better?" James said brightly looking into his girlfriends Emerald eyes.

Peter made a silent gag while they were preoccupied, covering it up with a yawn when Remus elbowed him in the ribs.

"It couldn't be better," Lily replied looking back into James' brown eyes.

"Ok things are getting sappy lets eat," Sirius announced.

Sitting so that they were opposite the other three (still single James might boast) Marauders, Lily helped herself to bacon and eggs and a goblet of orange juice.

"So have you two done it yet?" Sirius asked conversationally.

Lily chocked on her orange juice, "Have we WHAT?"

"Nah," James replied in the same casual conversational tone.

"But the two big weeks Prongs! I thought that that was when you decided to?" Remus said joining in.

"But Lily's special, I don't want to rush things."

Lily sat open mouthed as her boyfriend and his best friends discussed their casual sex lives and what James was going to do while waiting for Lily to be ready.

"Just wait Lily it will be the best day of your life," Sirius said shovelling a sausage into his mouth.

"I think I'd rather stick to holding hands and hugs for the while," Lily stated meaningfully feeling awkward as the boys talked as if it were everyday life.

"Well you know what they say Lily," Remus said in his I-know-a lot-of-things-that-you-probably-don't tone, "The bigger the hands the bigger the-"

"Remus John Lupin don't you dare finish that sentence!" Lily squealed clapping her hands over her ears as though trying to keep out the mental images.

"Then I can safely say that I have the biggest," Sirius announced seeming very proud.

"Do not," laughed Peter, "You have tiny hands they're almost has big as mine."

"Let's compare," James suggested holding out his right hand to the middle of the table.

The other three boys putting their hands in started discussing the fact and wether it was true or not.

"Well that fact is obviously as true as the fact that Dumbldore wears a G-string," said James huffily.

"You're just jealous because I have the biggest hands," Remus said arrogantly.

"I am not," shot Sirius childishly, "But there is not way in hell that Wormtail is bigger than me!"

Peter sat looking very pompous and pleased with himself as Sirius put his chin on his fist.

"Ok Remus is biggest, Peter is bigger than Sirius, end of conversation!" Lily shouted unexpectedly, "Good luck forgetting this one Lily."

"You know Lils talking to yourself is the first sign of madness," Remus stated again.

"Spots on the back of your hands is the second," Peter added, and roared with laughter as Lily turned her hands over in front of her on face, "And looking for the spots its third."

"Blimey Prongs your new girlfriend is gullible," chuckled Sirius.

"Hey Padfoot gullible is written on the ceiling in pink highlighter," James said pointing at the roof.

"Where?"

"Are we done talking about what James and I haven't done now?" Lily asked more pointedly to James.

"Yeah give her a break you lot," said James putting an arm around her shoulders and allowing her to relax a little.

"Ah well, at least you have kisses to last," Sirius shrugged sipping his pumpkin juice.

James cleared his throat awkwardly and Lily looked at floor slightly ashamed.

"You mean it's been a fortnight and you two still haven't kissed?" asked Peter in amazement.

"She won't let me," James said in his own defence.

"Lily how could you be so selfish?" Sirius said trying to sound harsh.

"Excuse me?"

"Robbing the king of Hogwarts from both of the things he has ever lived for," Remus explained in the same tone Sirius used.

"What about my needs. I plan on getting to sixteen before doing any of those things."

"Why would you want to do that?" Sirius said dumfounded.

"Haven't you ever heard of sweet sixteen and never been kissed?"

There was silence along the seats as all four boys stared at Lily, she could practically hear the cogs turning as they racked their brains for the saying.

"I've heard of sweet sixteen and never had sex," Sirius started still looking slightly confused, "But I didn't follow that either."

"Too much information!" Lily held up a hand and looked down at her breakfast.

Goodness knows how she'll ever be able to look at Sirius Black the same after that.

"I don't think anyone here did," Peter said confidently, "I was fifteen."

Lily's eyes widened and then closed as she clapped her hands over her ears praying that no one else was going to start comparing ages.

Remus nodded with agreement at the age as he chewed on his bacon.

"Fourteen," Sirius said raising his hand, "Beat that."

Peter and Remus laughed slapping him on the back until James raised his hand with a smug look on his face, "Thirteen."

"I can't take this anymore," Lily muttered to herself before standing up while the boys were preoccupied howling with laughter.

James took the time to notice that the seat beside him, which was recently occupied by a red head, was now vacant.

"Did any of you see where my girlfriend went?"

"Maybe Moony ate her, it is getting to that time of the month," Sirius joked thinking the joke was a good laughs worth.

James stood and looked around the hall for the familiar spot of red, "Lily!"

But Lily was too far away from the Great Hall to even hear the call if it had been screeched.

"I wonder if that secret passage James and Sirius use to get into the basement of The Three Broomsticks is still active?" She asked herself.

**A/N: I got very bored with my other story, but don't fret I will be updating it in time. But I just needed a laugh. This is my first Humour fic so I have no idea if it even funny. Please review!**


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